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Madpost – March 1998

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Monthly Madpost – March 1998

Hiya all,

and a warm welcome to the March edition of the “Monthly Madness Mailing List Madpost”.

Due to the recent Madmeet held in Camden Town, this issue of the MP has a strong meet-up theme. Everyone who attended the weekend seemed to enjoy themselves, and it was nice to see a few new faces appearing this time. I won’t bore you with what went on as there are some excellent reviews of the weekend further on in this issue. Although most of the meet was spent in the Dublin Castle it wasn’t a waste of a weekend. A number of items were discussed including the fact that it might be a good idea to hold any future meets around a concert or gig of some kind. Another idea which everyone seemed to be up for was the formation of some sort of swaps system. I’m sure many of you out there have some excellent

collections of Madness bootlegs on audio and video tape, well why not share your collection with others and at the same time add other concerts/interviews etc to your collection.

This is only in its early planning stages at the moment, but perhaps someone can donate some webspace and maintain a list of what bootlegs people have and how to contact them. As well as this being an ultimate nutty resource, it would also give us some sort of picture of just how many different bootlegs are available.

If you can donate some webspace and are willing to maintain this, please post your details to the list. Once we have some webspace you can all mail the maintainer with your bootleg listings.

Next, the Madness Internet T-shirts…

I’ve been discussing this on-going saga with Adrian Burns and it looks like the t-shirts are almost ready to go into opertation. Adrian has undertaken a simple test printing and he informs me that the results were far better than expected. We’ve just got a few final alterations and additions to make and then the shirts will be ready.

And finally, Madness ICQ. When are you lot going to get the software installed and get yourselves signed up? Alan Redpath, the Madness ICQ maintainer has helped me through the installation process and intitial set-up process and I’ve seen it in action.

If you want to chat to Maddies on the net without having to wait for them to appear on IRC then this is for you. If you’re interested (and why would you not!?), then get reading Alan’s specially prepared Madpost article.

Right, that’s enough of me for the moment. I’ll sit back and let you get reading. All the best, Robert Hazelby

Contents – March 1998

[1] – ONE STEP BEHIND – Luke Roberts with an indepth review of top Madness cover band – `One StepBehind`

[2] – THAT NUTTY TRAIN – Remember there were plans afoot to create the longest Nutty Train ever? Well, Paul Andrews is back with the details so you’ve now got no excuse for not sending in your snaps.

[3] – YVETTE’S POST MEET STATISTICS – With Simon’s stay at the recent Camden meet being short-lived, it meant that someone else had to get around to producing the now-legendary `Post Meet Statistics`. Arise Yvette Reader!!

[4] – MADNESS ON NBC – Well, sort of. Nutty Madster Mike is here with details of Madness in the nineties!!

[5] – SIMONS POST-MEET SUMMARY – Although Simon Roberts didn’t actually stay that long at the recent Camden meet, he still managed to dig the dirt on everyone. Find out just what happened through the eyes of Simon Roberts.

[6] – MADNESS DISCOGRAPHY – No, not another listing that attempts to be the ultimate in Madness releases. Instead it’s a small article from a 1992 issue of the NME.

[7] – BLOODY PLANES – All who turned up to the recent Camden meet will know of the non-appearance of a certain Peter Gardner. Here’s Pete with the hows, whys and whats for why his arrival never was.

[8] – JUST MAD ABOUT MOSCOW – Taken from a January 1993 issue of You Magazine.

[9] – ED’S MEET ROUND-UP – Well, seeing as Ed was one of the first meet arrivals and one of the last to leave, he should be the ideal person to get a summary of the weekend’s proceedings from. [10] – THE MADNESS ICQ LISTING – Alan Redpath is here with details of an internet chat system that beats IRC hands down. Read his article and then download the software.

[11] – MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE – Final words, thanks and next month.


One Step Behind – Don’t Miss ’em!!!

Hiya All,Just a mail to say Hi and I’m glad you all had a good time at the meet. I’m now in France. The snow looks great (tomorrow I get to ride that new board of mine so I can hardly wait), but hey, that’s not what I’m writing about!Last night before we left, I went to see a band in a youth centre near where I live in Holland. YES! I saw

“One step behind”, whilst you lot just finished having a good time in Camden!

One step behind were absolutely great! It’s so bloody hard to be a critic when you see seven lads like these

geezers, Bowler hats, suits, sunglasses, Doc M’s, chequered pants, London accents, nutty, brilliant, funny and without a doubt the whole way: Totally Madness.

Kicking off with “One Step beyond”, they got the audience warmed up and in the mood. They went straight on with “The Prince” and then treated the few dancing nutties to “Cardiac Arrest”. They played “Shut Up” exactly the way it should be played. The keyboard parts were played to perfection by Del Boy (Derek Dobbins). Snappy, catchy and just like Madness play it. “Our House” was followed by and oldie: “Swan Lake”. Perfect! The way El Mollo (John O’Neill on Sax) and Bungle (Gerry le Strange on trumpet) did the honking and bonking in “Driving in my Car” was fantastic! “The Sun and the

Rain” followed and “Believe Me”, hearing the “Los Palmas 7” live is quite an experience.


Last song before the break was “Embarrassment”. By now we’d already had a complete albumfull of Madness’ Finest, and yet there was more to come. I leapt up the stairs and just managed to have a word with John the sax guy. Nice guy who told me lot’s about where they recorded their CD, where the photo was taken for the cover of their “Absolutely Both” CD. I also met trumpet player “Bungle” (Gerry le Strange) and lead vocalist “Suggsby” (Ian Soulsby) during the break and had a word with them about the rumours on Madness recording a new CD and “who the hell was fronting Madness” now Suggs had “better

things to do”. Nobody knew…. We did agree that they better play during the next Madmeet. I’ll be there!

After the break “Tomorrow’s Just Another Day” got everybody dancing again. “Bed and Breakfast Man” followed by “My Girl” had me dancing non stop. “Rocking in Ab” and “It must be love” were so refined. Perfectly played and followed by “House of Fun”, which obviously showed which songs had been

hits in Holland! “Grey Day” was so good. Sugsby’s voice was exctly right.

Forget the rumours that you can’t enjoy them because of a diffrent voice! He’s done his homework. Nick, this big bald guy in a leather jacket, and also their manager mentioned: “What do you think of the band? They’re bloody good after 5 years of hard practice eh?”. “Baggy Trousers” got us dancing again and the party reached new hights with “Wings of a Dove”.

Off went Edders (Ed Pearson on Bass), Double ‘O’ (Shaun Connelly on Guitar) and the rest – leaving Poody (Kieran McAleer on drums) with a solo which brilliantly went over in “Madness”. Everybody was having so much fun.

The party finished with “Night Boat to Cairo”. I had such a good time! I bought their CD and we listened to it the best part of the drive to France. Go and see them because If Madness don’t get Suggs and Bedders back before the end of this millenium, I’m afraid you’ll never hear anything closer to Madness in your whole life again! (now let’s hope that CD players don’t have some stupid millenium bug!) Goodnight, now where’s everybody gone? The pillocks have left me and have gone to the bar. Cheers,


PS. Nick promissed me some photo’s. I’ll put them on the madniverse as soon as I have them.



That Virtual Nutty Train


What-O my fellow Maddies,

A quick note to tell you all that Dave is still taking photos for our attempted virtual nutty train. Actuallyhe has yet to receive any, including from yours truly.

That address again is-

Red Dancefloor Press

Attn: madscans

PO Box 4974

Lancaster, CA 93539-4974



Paul Andrews






Yvette’s Post Meet Statistics


Well, seeing as usual statistic compiler – Simon Roberts didn’t actually stay in Camden Town very long I was starting to wonder if there was going to be a break in meet-up tradition, and for once, there wasn;t goint to be a set of `Post Meet Statistics`. Thankfully Yvette managed to remember most of the things that went on over the 3 days and has listed them all below. Hi Maddies, Well, I guess it’s about time I added my contribution to the post-meet reviews! Here goes: Present: eD Suggsylia Rob Dominic Me Silvia

Nathan (+g/f)


Heledd (Richard’s GF)


Semi-present (literally for Simon + Kev!):




Mark Bryant

Lee Swandale

Post-meet stats:

– Clearer of record shops’ stock – Rob

– Most ravenous person of the meet – eD (On the Saturday

night he ate his meal and then went on to devour most of

what Suggsylia and Silvia had left!)

– Woody lookalike/soundalike – Mark Bryant

– Strangest artefact – signed ice cream board with

‘Crunch. Lee Kix. Smash’ scrawled on it

– Most impressive a cappella rendition – ‘In The Middle

Of The Night’ en route to Camden Town Tube Station

at 11.15pm on saturday night…..

– Most “non-staying” Madsters – Simon and Kevin





– Catchphrase of the meet: “Are you sure, ARE YOU SURE?!!!”

– In the ‘Yesterday’s Men’ curry house: “I hear the food

here is great…. who told you?…The Manager…….

Cigarette?…Are you ready to order? ORDER!!!”

“Waah waah waah waaargh (mouth stretching)….ooommmm….”

– In the DC: too many to remember but here are a few

“We’ll wear out their Divine Madness CD!”

“If you can: ONE, TWO, THREE!!!!!”

“We’ll be sitting in Finsbury Park, the four

of us, shouting “Ole, ole, ole, ole, Maaaaaadness,



– Notable thing-nings:

Kev + Simon going to the pub and getting pissed

instead of looking for a hotel to stay in.

Someone suggesting we “bow to Bedders’ door” and

“venerate the ice cream board” as we passed……

The sheer audacity of the cafe we ate in on friday

evening – they had autographed pics covering the

walls, including one ‘Spice Girls’ one – but no


And how could I forget Dominic and Suggsylia’s

famous ‘non-appearance’ on sunday morning……. ;)


That’s all for now – I’m sure some of you other ‘Meet Madsters’ have stuff to add, so get mailing!





Madness on NBC


I was watching Crimson Tide yesterday on NBC when, during a commercial break, they showed a promo for a new show on Mondays at 8:30 EST called “House Friends” or something like that. It caught my attention because their theme music is “Our House”. If anything, it’s worth watching the opening credits to see how they mangle the song to give it a more “nineties sound”. Thanks- Mike, the Cairo East fan from Cairo South


Simons Meet-up Summary

Hello everyone, Sorry no post Mad Meet Stats- As I was only there for a couple of hours, (I can hear sighs of relief from everybody)

After a few phone calls and Emails to and from various members of the list, it seems that spending all day in the Dublin castle is a bad idea, without any focal point of the meet. It is suggested that in the future the meets will only be held when a Madness related event occurs, such as a Crunch!, One Step Behind, Madness, Terry Edwards etc. gig. Here is what I observed anyway… The usual gang where there, Ed (Oh Feck!), Dominic, Rob, Nathan (Surprisingly sober- but had a women lined up for later on), Suggsylia (Drinking far too much mineral water!), Richard P and g/f,(Slightly pissed) Kev (got thrown out of the ‘World’s End’ for fighting (he was warned), Silvia, Jordan (get that site back up!!) and some others who’s names escape me, but all apologies. Silvia from Italy (complete with camcorder) made some impressive (and accurate) songbooks, Silvia seemed to really enjoyed herself. Top stuff! I was so impressed, the cover (and the nifty binding) will appear as the main page on my website on the next update. Apparently everyone went for a curry later. Nothing else to report. Also mentioned was a bootleg exchange, so everyone can share their rare and obscure audio and video bootlegs. Anyone fancy organising it? This is a must. (there you go Jordan, an idea for your webspace!) Right I’m off to water my plants, work on the update for my website, and savour the last moments of being 29. cheersNbeers Simon. (www.madnotmad.home.ml.org)



Madness Discography


Hiya all, I found this little article whilst rummaging through some back issues of the NME. Don’t worry, I’m not going to post up yet another Discography, but I thought you might like to have a read at the introductory text. I think this was taken from an issue sometime towards the middle of 1992…”With all this Madness hype in the air, is there any chance of a complete Nutty discography?” requested reader Simon Kelsto of Guildford, Surrey. Which is why we`re here at this very spot. No need to go on about the band in this preamble.Better than it’s used to revamp the old chestnut about “How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?” in the form of “How many re-issues does it take to relaunch a band’s career?”. Take, for instance, the case of Labi Siffre’s “It Must be Love”, a UK Top five single for Madness in 1981. Re-released by Old Gold in 1988, the record sold well enough but was only aimed at a collectors and oldie jukebox market. A new breakthrough should have been made in mid-1988 when the track was used as a theme to the Jeff Goldblum/Rowan Atkinson move – “The Tall Guy”, in which Suggs made an appearance. Virgin duly made the appropriate re-release but nothing happened. So there was a further delay in operations until February this year, when the single made yet another appearance and ultimately made a reacquaintance with the UK top ten, sparking off talks of that Madness reunion. So, what made the difference? I dunno, but it does seem that if you keep re-delivering the right kind of goods, there’ll come a time when the customers start queuing all over again.

Encouraging news for those who re-run and re-package at frequent intervals…


Bloody Planes

Well, there was Pete Gardner, all set to fly down to Camden from his home in Aberdeen. He had the flight booked a week or two in advance, the word had got around, and a few Nutties had even come to the meet just for the opportunity to meet the famous Madster. But, even with all this effort, his arrival at the meet was not to be. I’ll let Peter explain from here… I was really pissed off on Saturday. I was actually sitting on the plane at 6.30am (it was due to leave at 6.40) barely awake having got up at 5AM. So there I was sitting there when we got a message that there was a small technical problem which would cause a delay. 40 minutes later there was no improvement and so we were asked to go back into the terminal (quite a bad sign I thought). They said there would be more info at 7.30. The info at 7.30 was there would be info at 8.00, which quickly turned into 9.00 :-( Soon after 9.00 they confirmed that they had to cancel the flight.

The next KLM flight was scheduled for 11.05 but it had already been delayed until 11.35 ! If it managed to leave at that time it would mean I would be lucky to get to Camden for 2.30, by which time you lot would have been off doing stuff, and I was so hacked off with the whole situation that I thought it wasn’t really worth hanging around all morning in the hope that I would *only* be 3 or 4 hours late. Plus there was the fact that I never had accommodation sorted out. So I went home before heading to the pub and watched Scotland get stuffed at rugby:-( Peter.


Just Mad About Moscow

Taken from `You Magazine` – Sunday 10th January 1993 When pop funsters Madness re-formed last year for a comeback tour their keyboardist Mike Barson agreed to play on one condition: they had to play in Red Square as well. The group’s three-day stay in Moscow started at the Rosla, an 8’000 room hotel supposedly run by Moscow’s equivalent of the Mafia. The band were reliably informed by a local journalist that the gangsters were some rather gaunt men in the lobby wearing shell suits and flip-flops.

But the only problem was the size of the hotel. `I got completely lost in those corridors`, a bleary Suggs reported over his breakfast of hard rolls and Go-Go fizzy orange. `I was trying the key and I didn’tknow if someone was going to burst through and kill me.` More friendly was Moscow’s premier street market, the Arbat. Suggs and fellow nutty boy Cathal Smyth paid $10 for a wooden chess set with pieces painted in Russian and American colours. Mike Barson bought a wooden boxing bear and some Soviet badges for his two sons. Such family consideration figures greatly with Madness these days. The band seem determined not to let the pressure of constant touring and recording take its toll. `Our main preoccuopation` says Suggs `is

that the band doesn’t mess up our family lives in any way.’ `What I found unpleasant` says Barson, in a deep Frank Bruno voice, `was the way touring made your home life seem unimportant – and that’s wrong. There’s nothing more important to me now than kissing my child goodnight.`

But the demand is there. Their Chirstmas concerts at the Wembly Arena sold out in two hours. However the Moscow concert turned out to be simply a `Top of the Pops` appearance for their single `The Harder TheyCome`. A section of the crowd broke into a chorus of `Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer`. `The Vodka’s not working then`, said Cathal. One Russian said he had seen Madness on the satellite Super Channel. `They’re a good fun group – not too serious`. Well, a little bit serious. The group are all in their early to mid 30’s now and more inclined to games of chess that nightclubbing, although there are still flashes of the old nutty-boy spirit; at the group’s farewell dinner the whole roast was served up with a cigarette in its snout.


Ed’s Meet Round-up

Well folks, here it is, a run down of the latest meet from the 2nd longest stayer of the weekend (2nd only to Rob {what’s that single in yourhand? I’ll have that} Hazelby, who arrived 45 mins before me, and left about an hour later)


Well, Rob and I met around 11:30 am on the Friday, and went for “a little walk” (Mr Wheeze not far behind) to find an hotel. we got to the Forte place, and as we had feared, but not hoped, it was full, save for 6 rooms, at 75 quid each. Steep? It’s effing vertical!

And so the hunt was on, our mission, which we had no choice but to accept, to find some lodgings. We searched high, we searched low. We looked here, we looked there…WE LOOKED EVERY BLOODY WHERE, but could we find a place to lay our heads? So Finsbury beckoned. It had been a last resort, as we were looking for somewhere closer to Camden, but needs must when the devil shits, so we went to Finsbury Park. (I can remember when all this was crowds!) We found a hotel for not too much, and headed back to Camden.

After a dull afternoon (to write about – we went bargain hunting, and found a few, but that’s not very exciting to read about.) and returned to the shrine for the first time in ages (for me). Throughout the course of the evening, a few others turned up. Yi Vt, Silvia, Suggsylia (and her Aunt!) Any hows, a few more beers (or mineral waters) are consumed, before heading for a slap up binge at some restaurant, which I later found out got a mention in the Camden book.

After a day of travel, sleep wound its weary spell around our semi conscious bodies, and all concerned decided that an early night was called for.


After a rousing breakfast, of coffee that took the toothpaste straight back off your teeth, it was back to Camden to meet the new comers. However, before this, Rob decided that a haircut was called for, so wecalled in to the shop where “one of the boys has his hair done, but I can’t remember who”. The flat top was interesting to say the least. It was the first 9.50 haircut to cost a tenner I reckon. Anyway, morning became afternoon, which in turn became evening, which then skipped out night and morning, and it was afternoon again. Oh I’m sorry, I think I’ve just missed out the best times. More shopping was done by all, guided by Mark Bryant, who turned up for a while, and showed us all a thing or two about Camden. We found some good stuff. Rob got a load of singles and stuff, and I found an original tape of Dance Craze, and a new donkey jacket. There was however, no record fair at the Electric Ballroom, as it is now fortnightly, as it last happened the previous week. As lunchtime approached, some of the new comers were escourted to their hotel, while the rest of us followed meekly to the feeding trough that is Burger King. During the rest of the afternoon, attending mass in the D.C. was delayed as long as possible, so as to not spend all day there, for the benefit of those too young to drink, or unable to take alcohol all day and night without being very ill. Several seconds later, our will power broke, and we went to the pub. To break up the monotony of the continuous lifting of glasses, and pouring the contents down ones throats, Jordan, Yi Vt and myself went to have a look at the rest of town (well, the Trocadero really. Not very Madness, but we had fun) During our absence, Simon Roberts turned up, then shortly after, decided to make the long trek back to Bolton again (was it something we said?) Well, the rest of the night was spent in the pub, with an only just getting drunk Nathan, and his new girlfriend, an old friend of Robs from Bristol. With the consumption of alcohol, came the inevitable latenight munchies, so off we trekked for a curry. And where else would we go, than the curry house in from Take it or Leave it (err, you sure?! -ED) After much silly face pulling, and 3 curries, drowziness again struck, so we again wended out merry wasy home. Next stop, the night bus to Finsbury.


Being the shortest of the 3 days, very little happened. More shopping was bought, as was more food. Only a few of us actually managed to meet that morning. No sign of Domonic and Suggsylia, who, thanks to a selfless gesture from an Aunt, shared a room in the Forte hotel. Anyway, after lunch, and showing Rob to the computer exchange on Tottenham Court Road, Silvia and I left, to catch our respective trains, so thus ends my epistle. Rob, Richard and Helledd stayed a little longer, so they may have more to add, but I cannot speak for them. And thus ended the 4th (or was it 5th) official Madness Mailing List Meet. In conclusion, as Simon spent so little time down South, I feel we still are lacking something……ah yes,

Silliest harcut – Rob

Shortest stay – Simon (although closely contended by Kevin)

Longest distance travelled to make the meet – Silvia/.Suggslyia? My geography isn’t what it should be.

Most enebriated – Close, between Rob or Richard I would say.

Best find – Original Dance Craze (that’s only a personal opinion)

Best wall – THE wall!

Greediest S.O.B. – me I’m afraid

Most famous person seen – I might have seen the bloke from Under the Moon, but I’m not sure if it was him or not

Most knowledgable – Mark Bryant

Least knowledgable – bloke in the hairdressers, who didn’t know which of the fab 7 he cut the hair of.

Most sung song – Razzle in my pocket


Most played album – Do I really need to say?

Most oft quoted phrase – “I remember when all this was fields” (even though it should be grass, not fields, but who’s counting?)

Most vinyl bought – Rob

So that was the meet, and how it went. If I missed anything/one out because I was elsewhere at the time, or just plain forgot, then I’m sorry, and perhaps that person can fill in any of these gaps.




The Madness ICQ Listing

Hello All, Rob’s asked me to write a bit about The Madness ICQ List…so here goes…


First of all What is ICQ?

ICQ is a great little Chat type program for PC, Mac(Power or 68k) and any machine capable of running Java. It allows you to build up a contact list of people you know who also have ICQ installed and it shows you whenever they come online, you can then send messages, files, URL’s and Chat Requests to the other person(s) and they will receive them right away, you can also send messages etc when the other person is offline and they will receive them as soon as they go online again.

What’s ICQ Chat?

ICQ chat mode works just like IRC in that you can have as many or as few people chatting together at the same time, the good thing is you don’t have to sit around waiting to see if someone will turn up to chat to like on IRC, simply by looking at your contact list you can see who’s online and invite them to chat …as more people come online you can invite them in to chat too, or they can ask to join into the chat with you.

So what is the Madness ICQ list ?

I started The Madness ICQ list last year to allow Madness fans with ICQ to get together and chat, swap files easily etc, it’s basically a list of people who are Madness fans and have got ICQ, you can find the Current List at :

http://members.xoom.com/Madness or http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/palms/2829

Just follow the links to the Madness ICQ list To Join the list all you have to do is Download ICQ and send me a message asking to join, Ill add your name straight away. Here is a list of the Current Members….





Alan Redpath Geordie Al 3042587 English/Canada
Oren Shay WEEZERD 1463336 English/Israel
Bacon Doof sKadeTTe 1622033 English/USA
Kerri Mcgregor isis 448943 English/Canada
Bovverboy 699854 English/USA
K. L. K 1089360 English/USA
S. Hawn Simplemind 2394636 English/USA
Jeremy Halkin HBLC 1617577 English/USA
Tony Trillo Ghia 1902758 English/USA
Meghan Sanford Kelly Chaos 2564339 English/USA
M Karel Bongo 3549706 Eng/Netherlands
Alex Ingram Alex 7624204 English/UK
Robert Hazelby Robert_H 8973394 English/UK


As you can see the list is still quite small, but now that I’m back online I’m hoping to kickstart the list again with regular chats organised and who knows what else! What have you got to lose? Download ICQ today!, either follow the links on my pages or go to : http://www.mirabilis.com




Maybe in Another Life

And that rounds off another monthly Madpost. Many thanks to all who contributed, even if you didn’t know your article was going to appear in this issue. If you have anything Madness related which you feel would be of interest to the rest of the list, perhaps and old interview or magazine article? Whatever, just e-mail it to me and I’ll do the rest.

Perhaps next month Alan will be kind enough to update us on the ICQ listing. I’ll want some excellent excuses from you lot if your name isn’t on that list. Until then, stay nutty, and I’ll see you all in the next Madpost.


Robert Hazelby (robert@jabba.demon.co.uk)

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